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The Garden of Gethsemane

by Background Character

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aves hard to pick a favorite song, they are all so deeply connected to myself and what makes me, me. if i could get the essence of this album as a tattoo, i would immediately <3 Favorite track: Uma Theremin.
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1.
Inch Row 00:50
Fear your thoughts, They're not wrong.
2.
Bloodshot eyes staring at me. Jeans on thighs feeling heavy. Face these thoughts I hate facing. My heart will not stop racing. Jars of mold. I'm not even fucking old. I took too many dabs.
3.
Lead by hand through a hallway of florescence, Large Japanese market sitting pretty on the outskirts of downtown. Dressed in black from your jawline to your platforms, Higher than I've been in so long, lacking all intent of coming down. I don't mean it that I'm fine. Movie scene set in my mind, But that was several months ago and though I have progressed, I still live in a moment with your hand laid on my chest. Meet me in the middle of Christiana and if we can dream, we'll do it all. I am waking in the middle of this stupid dream to know you don't miss me at all. Stop the show, 'cause it's time to go. It didn't hurt when you were leaving. Now I know, at least I think so. I didn't know that I was grieving.
4.
Felt your eyes landing on me from across the subway car, and I don't know. Ugly body standing, completely unaware of who you are. They're only clothes. And I find it funny you think you know me when I don't even know myself. Doing just fine under pressure. Prideful secrets in my dresser. Never thrive, I fucking hardly feel alive. Introspectively know I've never felt comfort in my gender. Hijacked planes landing on the runway by the boulevard, and I am scared. It doesn't feel good lately to be on the outside looking in. Boku wa Tsukare sugiru yō ni nattakara umorete kure Oh my God, I'm so flawled. Never understanding who I am. I'm half man. But never pretty, never pretty. Oh my God.
5.
I don't move things after you touch them. My apartment serves as a museum. It's nice to feel as though you linger, Whenever I'm not there, or when I am. I suddenly feel compelled to text you, At 3 a.m. when I'm too tired to sleep. My eyes scream a thousand words right at you, But my fingers and screen don't make a peep. Many years from now when I die from a heart attack, Don't wanna be at the end of my life looking back, At all the cats I should've held, the streets I should've walked down, But I'm playing a coward. Won't raise an eyebrow that I wanna hang with you, That's a given but I'm living for it. Innocent glances, circumstance: what can I do? To be candid, I just can't ignore it. And maybe no one knows the answers. I'm hiking through uncharted ground. Like a confused team of dancers, And music made without a sound. Because it seems a lot to expect anyone to be excited, When all I have is me.
6.
Why did I meet you? Or try to delete you? I don't really have a reason. I just hate this fucking season and everyone in it (by association). It's something I cannot explain, The neurons you woke in my brain are banging on the walls to get a glimpse of you. And though the times are cold, I don't want to spend all my life alone. And though I feel scared, It's not like I need to feel prepared, To obey my master like an edgy youth group pastor. I'm just so happy life gets faster. Oh, I can see the shimmer in your eye, Looking out over the Minnesota sky, And I feel warm here. God, if you really mean to lead me to this grave, Then I'm begging you to please just let me save, On a '90s memory card. And though the times are tough, I don't think I want to cuddle my stuff. Find joy in what I've got, Fall in love in an Arby's parking lot. And damn I feel happy, I'm screaming someone stab me, Or please reach out and grab me.
7.
I keep thinking about death when I get high, And it really freaks me out but i guess that's a good sign. Told myself I'd give it a year to feel better, But time will only heal me if I let her. After all the snow, here comes the heat. Passing my time walking down the street. Lately I've been trying to understand why I'm so sad, Now I have more in my life than I've ever had, And it's not all just material. But to be honest, I've relied on television now and then. It might sound sorta strange, but King of the Hill saved my life. Wear my sadness like a crown. Feel alone with all my friends around.
8.
A cliché nearly as old as time itself, I want you but you long for someone else. In a dream, we're doing nothing, having fun, It's been so long since I've done nothing with someone. No more excuses, I feel useless, and I just might be. I started to feel creepy, So I'll leave distance between you and me.
9.
Please, Dont make me eat. Dont make me eat, Because it feels like an existential horror: My body will break down if I ignore her. Like a neverending necklace string comprised of salt and sweet, I must survive and to survive, I need to, Eat. Don't make me eat. Stardust bellies, Natural machines, Don't make me eat.
10.
Shrek Trivia 02:35
Deciding if we should hit the clurb, You see a girl on the curb and ask her if she's alright. She looks me in the eyes as we leave, And then, I think, I believe she told me you made her night. She's not wrong, and I've known it all along, Since I heard your favorite song. And I decided to write a worse one than the first one. And I just wanna know what makes you happy, After an appropriate amount of time has passed. My attention I give ya, When I come watch you win Shrek trivia, At a local dive I've heard about. And I wont know what to say to you, 'Cause my life was never made for two. So now I've got to sort all this shit out. Noticing your words getting slurred, But hanging on every word that's falling out of your face. Sitting on the edge of my chair, Not feeling weird if I stare, This is my comfortable place. And I'm fine. I had an awesome time, and you drift into my mind for no particular reason, but it's pleasin' And I just want to be what makes you happy, After an appropriate amount of time has passed. My attention I give ya, When I join you for Shrek trivia, At a local dive I've not heard of. And it doesn't matter what I say to you, 'Cause no one's life's ever made for two. So no one will ever know I'm in love.
11.
Uma Theremin 01:15
I could tell that you were upset by the way you hung your head- -ed towards you and I don't even remember what I said- - some really sincere things and thankfully you did as well- Get used to this sort of thing. At least I hope and pray to Hell- - is a couple's retreat, And I would find it sweet, If we could interlock our hands and keep them intertwined until the flesh all melts away. So to be fully honest, I'm just as scared as you, That we can't see beyond this, because we don't need to. I want to see the end. Hope for a happy one, but, I'll always be your friend, and you taught me to trust my gut. We're finally all alone, So should I kiss your face or not?
12.
Ouch Row 01:36
Couldn't face the idea of waking up. Put it in a file cabinet, For days I feel shit, act shit, am shit, am shit. Never count your blessings 'cause they are not here yet. It never gets easy, it's just time makes you forget. Jacking off to Waluigi.

about

Our debut album, "The Garden of Gethsemane"
12 songs about being perpetually afraid

credits

released April 18, 2020

195163625297 Records DK
Copyright © 2020 Background Character
All music written and performed by Background Character:
Jon Robledo - Drums, Vocals, Keyboards
Ryan Kiolbassa - Vocals, Guitars, Bass
All lyrics by Ryan Kiolbassa
*Except the Japanese verse on Track 4 by Jon Robledo
Bass parts on Tracks 2, 3, 5, and 6 written by Jonny Gill
Recorded, mixed, and mastered by Ryan MacDonald
Recorded at Decade Music Studios - Chicago, IL
Album artwork and layout by Ryan Kiolbassa

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Background Character Chicago, Illinois

420th Wave Ska from Chicago

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