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1. |
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Led by hand through a hallway of fluorescence,
Large Japanese market sitting pretty on the outskirts of downtown.
Dressed in black from your jawline to your platforms,
Higher than I've been in so long, lacking all intent of coming down.
I don't mean it that I'm fine.
Movie scene set in my mind.
But that was several months ago and though I have progressed,
I still live in a moment with your hand placed on my chest.
Meet me in the middle of Christiana and if we can dream, we'll do it all.
I am waking in the middle of this stupid dream to know you don't miss me at all.
Stop the show, 'cause it's time to go.
It didn't hurt when you were leaving.
Now I know, at least I think so.
I didn't know that I was grieving.
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2. |
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Why did I meet you?
Or try to delete you?
I don't really have a reason,
I just hate this fucking season,
And everyone in it.
(By association)
It's something I cannot explain,
The neurons you woke in my brain,
Are banging on the walls,
To get a glimpse of you.
And though the times are cold,
I dont want to spend all my life alone.
And though I feel scared,
It's not like I need to be prepared,
To obey my master, like an edgy youth group pastor.
I'm just so happy life gets faster.
Oh, I can see the shimmer in your eye,
Looking out over the Minnesota sky,
And I feel warm here. (so warm)
God, if you really wanna lead me to this grave,
Then I'm begging you to please just let me save, on a '90s memory card.
And though the times are rough,
I don't think I want to cuddle my stuff.
Find joy in what I've got,
Fall in love in an Arby's parking lot,
And damn I feel happy,
I'm dreaming, someone stab me,
Or please reach out and grab me.
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3. |
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Bloodshot eyes staring at me.
Jeans on thighs feeling heavy.
Face these thoughts I hate facing.
My heart will not stop racing.
Jars of mold.
I'm not even fucking old.
I took too many dabs.
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4. |
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A cliché nearly as old as time itself,
I want you but you long for someone else.
In a dream, we're doing nothing, having fun.
It's been so long since I've done nothing with someone.
No more excuses, I feel useless,
And I just might be.
I started to feel creepy.
So I'll leave distance between you and me.
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5. |
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I don't move things after you touch them.
My apartment serves as a museum.
It's nice to feel as though you linger,
Whenever I'm not there, or when I am.
I suddenly feel compelled to text you,
At 3 a.m. when I'm too tired to sleep.
My eyes scream a thousand words right at you,
But my fingers and screen don't make a peep.
Many years from now when I die from a heart attack,
I don't want to be at the end of my life looking back,
On all the cats I should've held, the streets I should've walked,
Down but I'm playing a coward.
Won't raise an eyebrow that I want to hang with you,
That's a given but I'm living for it.
Innocent glances, circumstance, what can I do?
To be candid, I just can't ignore it.
And maybe no one knows the answers,
I'm hiking through uncharted ground.
Like a confused team of dancers,
And music made without a sound.
Because it seems a lot to expect anyone to be excited,
When all I have is me.
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6. |
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Felt your eyes landing on me from across the subway car,
And I don't know,
Ugly body standing, completely unaware of who you are.
They're only clothes.
And I find it funny you think you know me,
When I don't even know myself.
Doing just fine under pressure.
Prideful secrets in my dresser.
Never thrive, I fucking hardly feel alive.
Introspectively know I've never felt comfort in my gender.
Hijacked planes landing on the runway past the boulevard.
And I am scared.
It doesn't feel good lately, to be on the outside looking in.
Boku wa totemo tsukaretanode,
Maiso shitai ki ha shimasu
Oh my god, I'm so flawed.
Never understanding who I am.
Never pretty.
Oh my god.
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We recorded our practice one night so we could have something to show bookers/promoters until we record and release our album. Kept all the mistakes in, including Jonny breaking a bass string. Rawkkkkkkkkkk n rolllllll
released November 19, 2019
Recorded and mixed by Jonny Gill, he also did the album art
Lyrics written by Ryan Kiolbassa
Music written by all of us:
Jon - Drums and screaming
Jon - Bass
Ryan - Guitar and singing
Owen (The Rattlesnake) - Guitar
