1. |
Gorgeous
03:56
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It would get boring, the fast life, ooh
Reaching a high that you can’t top
I’ve been exploring my past life, ooh
I’ve seen her face now I can’t stop
Until I feel gorgeous.
Gorgeous.
Hunt for meaning like a fucking animal
Learned to love myself and it made me vain.
Introduce the woman I am, I thought I would try it.
Try to make her feel at home while living in me.
The comfort she was looking for, turns out you can buy it.
Thought I already owned myself, but nothing is free.
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2. |
||||
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I set my sights on what was wrong,
Shortsighted thoughts I felt were long.
But so it goes,
Everyone knows,
And I feel bad about it.
The way that people interact,
Give something up, get something back.
It’s not exchange,
But much more strange.
And I feel glad to doubt it.
My words sent you reeling, but I spit ‘em out on the floor.
And I prayed for a feeling, but all I felt was more.
So I’m sorry that I had to cross that line.
And I’m sorry if I ever cross your mind.
On paper, I shot up to space,
Got laid, paid, and a brand new place.
But once again,
I focused in,
On everything I was missing.
Which I admit, included you,
But what the fuck am I to do?
We can’t go back,
This trolley track,
Philosophical and dismissing.
So I searched for an answer in the crinkles of my brain.
You spread like a cancer, and linger like a stain,
I hope I’m not ungrateful, I’m just ranting through the pain.
So I’m sorry that you ever cross my mind.
But I’ll carry you until the end of time.
And I wish to god I could still cross that line.
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3. |
||||
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Slept with your t-shirt on my face
Light disperses through the room
We can never have it all, only human after all,
But you make my life taste sweet.
I believe reality can be much more romantic.
I’ll give you all I got.
I know I sound pedantic,
But choice means a lot.
I want you underneath my skin,
Buried deep within.
I am not afraid.
I want to make you want to stay,
Each and every day,
Because love isn’t found, it’s made.
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4. |
Thot Pilgrim
02:01
|
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|
Listed my spare room on Airbnb, people won’t rent it but they’ll sleep in my street gutter.
My neighborhood is a food oasis, Sweetgreen and Whole Foods but I wanna eat butter.
I got the 4K at a 5 finger discount, HD Sony from a guy at a masked looting.
I send my children to a school with good funding, I can’t wait to see them die in a mass shooting.
Wanna find a narrative
But it seems the problem is
A disembodied machine we all operate.
Can’t recast a few bad actors,
When there are so many factors.
The exploited masses will cooperate.
Is there hope?
It’s hard to strike a perfect balance,
Between delusion and positivity.
I only aim to lend my talents,
To situations needing it from me.
Don’t wanna die in a mass shooting.
There is hope.
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5. |
Old Folks Home
02:42
|
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|
Take me as I am, and I will take you as you are
By the hand, and hopefully we make it far,
In our tenure at Senior Suites.
Show me what you got, dilaudid and oxys on deck,
That’s a lot. I notice wrinkles in your neck,
Make me feel a way I’ve never felt.
What’s so wrong with growing old?
Our families left us here in the cold.
Real sense of connection.
Object of affection,
Has gracefully entered my cloudy point of view.
I’ve been around so long so I’m not afraid to say
That I love you, I love you, I love you.
You make me sing la la la la la la la la.
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6. |
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The sky pissed rain all over our town,
We decide to surround ourselves with each other.
I don’t really mean to complain but you don’t see the pain that I keep under cover.
You don’t know the streets yet, but you told me that you do.
I’ll keep up the pretense, since you told me that it’s true.
Gonna get high and feel low.
I’m in a rush to take it slow.
Forget everything that I know,
Stare through the blinds, out the window.
Taken for granted and we waste it all.
We waste it all.
Take it for granted, will you waste it with me?
Waste it with me?
I’ll be alright, I’ll be alright.
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7. |
Bored
02:23
|
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|
I’m bored,
I wish I could hoard every thought ignored ‘til now,
Every thought explored and how they’ve delivered me here,
‘Cause I’m always here.
Not an open clearing, no.
But a thought worth hearing so
I can’t believe I didn’t see I had it all,
‘Cause even if I didn’t, I still had a ball.
And though it’s not as simple as that,
I’m grateful and glad it’s not.
Break me into pieces,
Tear along the creases,
Into little pieces that are easy to digest.
And no amount of time could ever change the way I feel about it now.
Can’t live without it now.
I start to wonder if I’m sinking under,
I’m losing my strength and my will.
The walls are all see-through,
Don’t even need to convey to you that I am still…
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8. |
Romans 8:18
02:26
|
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|
I once thought my life was on a downward spiral, there was no reason to smile.
But pessimism is so passé
I have lived through unspeakable trauma, life’s a bitch and I’m her mama.
Needed to find a way to stay.
I know it’s easier said than done.
Believe me, no one knows it like I do.
And this is not advice, rather a story from my life.
Feelings don’t last forever, we’re not gonna ask for better.
We have to seize it for ourselves.
It’s hard to hold on when there’s nothing to cling to,
Hope’s our only savior and she lives in you.
We all know the cost of the U.S. empire.
They’re throwing bodies at the fire,
And expecting us to cope.
Consumerism will not get us through.
That goes for doomerism too.
I think it’s radical to have hope.
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9. |
Peace, Land, and Bread
02:58
|
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|
Stuck in one of those days where I wanna disappear
Dress in all black, move to a camp, protest for a year
But I won't,
Obligation's coming straight for my throat,
There are people who need me.
Reaching new goals, paying my tolls to participate.
Locked in their room, given their tools, pay to operate.
What’s the point?
I’m the exploited and the one who exploits.
Just like those who precede me.
When there’s nothing you can do, you do what you can.
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10. |
Saturn Return
04:05
|
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|
Please excuse the wait, I’ll be coming home soon,
Passing by the moon to break you out of heaven.
Coincidence or fate? I will make time for yourself.
I’ll prioritize your health by 2027.
‘Cause I need out
I’m burning at both ends
Chasing clout
I don’t need any more friends to pull me in.
I’ll make some time for you when I get home
From my trip to Saturn.
Partying alone, familiar pattern.
And ready or not, I’m falling into the future soon.
Feels like the walls are caving in
No signs of solace found within
My time’s running out!
Maybe I’ll be wrong, and find joy beyond belief,
Sighing with relief as life becomes relaxing.
Though it’s been far too long, and I’m afraid to see,
The weight it burdens me with is becoming taxing.
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